Week 5 - Meditation (Body)

Focusing on my body seemed easier to me than focusing on my breathing. The first incident I noticed today was that I walked down the hall at one point having just talked to my co-worker. I found two interesting changes as I moved from the copier to my classroom at that point: 1) I was walking much more slowly than I usually do. I tend to be a fast walker, and become indignant when slow walkers are in front of me. But this time, at 7:00am, I was strolling. 2) I also had my free hand in a clenched first, which is not a common thing for me either. So the subsequent question I asked myself was how could I be relaxed enough to walk at a leisurely pace, but tense enough that my fist was like a knot of fingers? Doesn’t that seem like an odd pairing?

The second instance I noticed was that I take very small steps when I am in a classroom full of kids. I noticed it all day. When my students are there, I take this quick, tiny steps. It doesn’t make a ton of sense, and I have no idea why I do that. Maybe it’s just a space issue, and the only way to move fluidly through the obstacle course that is my classroom is to make meticulous little movements. It’s almost as if I want to appear to be eager to get over and help (hence the quick pace of the steps), but I don’t really want to deal with them (hence the width of the steps). That may just be over analysis at its finest though.

The third thing I noticed is that I close my eyes…a lot. Specifically, I always close my eyes on the phone, when I’m eating alone, and when I brush my teeth/hair. Maybe I have just found the few moments in the day when I don’t need my eyes, and I allow them to rest during those times. Like little mini-meditations, I just turn off that sense for a little while and focus on the others. I mean, it is the only sense that you can choose not to use. Your ears always here and your nose always smells, etc. Perhaps it’s a control thing for me. Who knows?

How do these realizations relate to dialogue? I honestly have no ideas or theories whatsoever. Input is MORE than welcome here…